


There's No Business, Like Show Business

by Cleo



Category: The Losers (2010), The Losers - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hollywood, Alternate Universe - Movie Fusion, Comic Spoilers, Gen, Humor, Mild Language, Movie Reference, Movie Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-18
Updated: 2015-01-18
Packaged: 2018-03-07 23:34:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3187412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cleo/pseuds/Cleo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s hard work making a movie. There’s a lot of behind the scenes stuff that goes on. But The Losers are good at what they do. But they’re about to face their biggest challenge yet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There's No Business, Like Show Business

**Author's Note:**

  * For [unetetebrulee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unetetebrulee/gifts).



> This is for The Losers Ante Up Fanworks Exchange 2015. This work is for unetetebrulee; I hope you enjoy it.

“Listen up, Losers. I’ve got our next gig lined up.” Clay threw down script copies onto the table his team was gathered around. “We start production in three weeks. We have to come up with some concept ideas for the various scenes, in one.” Clay sat in the chair at the head of the table and watched as everyone took a copy of the script. He waited for the reaction of their dislike of it.

“What the fuck is this shit?” Roque asked after skimming the first ten pages.

“You can’t be serious boss?” Jensen declared unbelievably.

Cougar just stared at Clay in utter disgust and disbelief.

“Come on, Clay. There’s nothing in this script for me to build so Roque can blow up.” Pooch inserted.

“It’s what I signed us on for.” Clay cringed inwardly at the thought he’d had no choice really. “Besides, we kinda owed it to the producers.”

“How do we owe them anything? We’ve never even worked with them before.” Roque protested.

“We owe them because of the post production party we had after the movie we did last year.” Clay pointedly looked at Jensen. “You remember the one I’m talking about don’t you, Jensen?”

Jensen frowned and then it cleared up. “You mean the movie about that burned and presumed dead Army unit?” Jensen grinned like a fiend. “Those were some good times.”

“For you maybe,” Clay glared at the makeup artist. “You went and told the producers, what asses they were for short changing Diggle’s Tech Specialist character he’d created.”

“I remember that,” Pooch interjected. “What was it you said exactly?” Pooch frowned in thought for a moment, “Oh yeah. You said, the tech was the best character in the comic. He was even the one to kill the traitor, but they didn’t let him show off, and how underestimated he was in the movie. How they gave the kill credit to the, has-been colonel.” Pooch grinned broadly at Jensen.

“What? It’s the truth.” Jensen argued. “Throughout the comic the hacker pulls off wonderful feats of disguise, technical, and fighting skills. He shows a wonderful knack for surviving, and improvisation. He shot the fucking traitor with a remote controlled sentry at point blank range out a window several stories up. All to rescue his bald and portly teammate from losing anymore fingers.” Jensen ranted.

“And then you took a swing at him when the producer replied that the character wasn’t all that.” Roque interjected with a huff of amusement from Cougar in agreement.

“Yeah well, he had it coming.” Jensen pouted, “But Clay seriously a romcom?”

“Yeah, man. What’s that all about?” Roque asked. “I thought you said you were going to get us another action gig.”

“I tried to negotiate for that 80s Patrick Swayze remake, they’re doing.” Clay made a distasteful face, “But they wanted us to do this first as a favor after Jensen nearly took off the producers head.” Clay sighed.

“I think the real cause was you being caught with that chick what’s her name?” Roque snapped his fingers in question.

“Emily?” Jensen piped up with a smile.

“Yeah, Emily. Didn’t she try to stab you afterwards?” Roques added.

“Yes, but Em wasn’t the problem. Her wife was the problem.” Clay asserted. “Besides I think Jensen’s actions was the deciding factor.” Clay insisted, not wanting to admit that maybe, they had a point.

“But it’s a romcom, Clay?” Pooch whined.

“Who’s staring in it?” Roque asked hoping it wasn’t some stuck up douche of an actor.

“That Farris chick, and Evans kid.” Clay intoned unimpressed.

“Hey, wasn’t he the one they got to play the hacker?” Jensen piped up. “He was good in that, why’s he slumming in a romcom. He’d be good to stick to action.” Jensen advised.

“Career advice aside,” Clay glared at Jensen, “We do this and we can do the remake. That one has tons of explosions, death, and violence for all of us.” Clay cajoled his team. “We just need to prove that we can do more than the action shtick we’re good at.”

“But Clay a romcom?” Roque protested again.

“Cougs, you think you can come up with some concept designs for things like the wedding scene and whatnot.” Clay asked.

Cougar huffed indignantly, “Not much to work with here.” Cougar shrugged signaling he’d make it work somehow.

“Jensen, I know this will be strictly Vanilla for you. But you think you can find something to give it a little spice?” Clay pleaded.

“Well,” Jensen paged briefly through some of the script. “They’ve got Evans doing a lot of clothing optional scenes.” Jensen frowned. “The most I’d have to do is cover his tats for that clean cut bad boy next door look they seem to want. Otherwise it’s a matter of maybe wardrobe.” Jensen thought about it for a minute. “If I remember correctly from the last movie, Evans has a thing for t-shirts. So maybe I can set up a selection of shirts for his character to wear and have him choose the ones he likes the best.” Jensen smiled, “Make him put his own mark on the character so to speak.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Clay nodded. “Roque? Pooch? I know you two won’t have a whole lot to do. But I think you can make some of it believable. The scenes are on location pretty much. There’s not going to be a need for a lot of set designing or special effects.” Clay rubbed a hand over his face. “This isn’t a high budget film but I want us to act as if it was.” Clay looked at his team. “Are you with me on this?”

Everybody at the table nodded their head. “Good, I need preliminaries in ten days at the latest. I’ll see you guys later. I have to go finalize plans.” Clay stood and left the room.

“Is anybody else thinking that this is the worst idea yet?” Pooch asked the room’s remaining occupants.

“Por cierto.” Cougar agreed.

“I’m not sure we want our name attached to a movie like this.” Roque said. “But Clay’s determined to have the bigwigs take us more seriously.”

“I got just one question?” Jensen asked. “Why’s Evan’s character foisted into the friend-zone until the last few scenes of the movie.” Jensen asked solemnly. “I mean he’s constantly coming over to her place to ditch his date of the evening before. Wouldn’t that indicate to a chick, the guy is seriously interested?”

“No wonder you can never get any play, man.” Pooch chuckled. “You are clueless.”

Cougar chuckled in quiet amusement. While Roque just grinned evilly.

“What?” Jensen asked as the other got up and filed out of the room. “Really guys. What?” He said chasing after them.


End file.
